Early the other morning here at the farm in Stoystown, I met a lovely woman named Dawn who was walking her dog nearby. We chatted for a few moments and shared our stories, learning that we are both living in someone else’s cozy basement trying to figure our lives out. “The world is our oyster!” she said. “It’s a great place to be!” I agreed.
But some days I feel lost in a sea of possibilities. I have a long term vision lately for where I want to end up, but I really don’t know what I’m doing right now. What am I really here for? How will my choices today effect my future? How long must I wait before I am presented with the ideas, opportunities or connections I’m seeking?
With so many recent big changes in my life, I am feeling an equally big need to dial it back, draw inward and slow things down. Especially as we enter into winter, it’s naturally a time for me to share less, digest more. I usually take a break from teaching group yoga classes as well as evening classes, so that I can be tucked in with a good book by dark. Living so far out from my usual studios in Greensburg and Irwin, not having a place to teach private sessions, and the impending weather in the mountains of the Laurel Highlands are all great reasons for me to take a breather.
Winter can provide all of us with a much-needed opportunity to draw in yin energy, if we allow it.
When I find myself feeling lost or confused, it usually means that in some part of my life, there is an incongruity or a resistance. When I’m disconnected from my purpose (dharma), it’s always due to a lack of connection with my spirit. I realized that I had been fighting and resisting this obvious opportunity to rest because I was placing my self-worth in my work.
I am now happily taking a break from teaching yoga so that I can devote more of myself more wholeheartedly to my practice. I have already started a sadhana practice and have been including lots of extra meditation as well as fasting into my practice so that I can LISTEN. I will use this time to develop clarity within my own heart and mind. When I am ready to teach yoga again, the endless possibilities will still be there for me, but I will be reinvented.
Mary Oliver says that, “One must reinvent oneself, then reimagine the world.” May we never outgrow the desire to reinvent.