poison ivy annihilation

If you're a hardcore gardener, I'm sure you too have dealt with many a splinter, scratched eyeball, blister, back spasm, mystery bug bites, falls, gunshot wounds, broken shovels, and inevitably: poison ivy. The bane of many gardening adventures, poison ivy plagues me and holds certain areas of my yard hostage. Well, I've had it. It's my yard and I'm not going to let that stupid weed control me or turn into a kudzu and eat my house. It could happen.
The house of a lazy gardener who thought that weeding was a joke....
I've come to accept that I'm fairly terrible at identifying poison ivy/oak (especially when it's mixed in among all the other junk I'm fitfully weeding) so there's no avoiding contact for me. Removing all the roots is the only way to get rid of it, even if it's playing dead, so I'm just going to try to get it all done as quickly as possible and hope for the best. 

My fool-proof plan: I plan to embrace a very possible ongoing poison ivy rash for as long as it takes me to eradicate it. I also plan to have the last laugh when my yard is poison ivy-free.

Until yesterday, I proudly strutted through my garden assuming that I was among the elite 10-15% of the population that is not allergic to urushiol (the poison ivy chemical). I've never really had anything that was undeniably poison ivy and Calogel always quickly did the trick for any minor irritation. Needless to say, I was appalled when poison ivy had the audacity to show up on my arms and Calogel worked about as well as whatever worthless and ineffective analogy you can think of. It was so insanely itchy that I couldn't sleep, so I scoured the internet for home remedies and other options. I didn't like the idea of pouring bleach on my skin, wrapping myself in saran wrap like a burrito, or taking Prednizone, so I decided to try the apparent saving grace: a mud mask?
Lush mask I had on hand - any one will do!

I was skeptical, but then realized that one of the main goals of a facial mask is to draw oil from the skin. So after washing up and very apprehensively applying some, it not only instantly cooled and relieved all itching, but it also drew out moisture and formed a protective barrier over the poison ivy. I left it on overnight and awoke to a marked improvement. Definitely worth a try next time you have poison ivy!

So don't worry, this itchy little set-back has only further fueled my wrath and determination to quash the ivy. I strongly believe that there is a special place in hell for this weed. I lost this battle, but with the help of Lush, I shall win this war!